I drove a total of 8 hours this weekend. I was alone, so no one was around to judge me. That changes now. Presenting: the many stages of a road trip with Carissa
- Faithfully listen to the audiobook that I faithfully downloaded for this specific road trip.
- Stop for a burger and fries at Wendy’s. Because I’m on a road trip, and I never eat fast food, and I deserve this.
- Eat the burger. Wallow in self-hatred after the first two bites. I knew I should have ordered the double burger, not the triple burger…
- Make a mess of the last quarter of the burger because it’s dark and I can’t see whether I’m eating the paper the burger was wrapped in or the bottom bun, and really it all tastes about the same. And there’s ketchup. Everywhere.
- Get bored of audiobook. Turn on 2016 Top Hits and sing very loudly while eating cold fries. Pretend this is a scene out of a movie. Life will never be better than this moment, flying down the highway with the sunroof open and the volume all the way up.
- Notice a sign that says that I’m on the eastbound freeway. Panic. My heart starts pounding because I’M GOING TO VIRGINIA BEACH AND THE BEACH IS TO THE WEST. Turn off music. Take next exit. Sit in gas station parking lot trying to find accurate directions. Remember I’m on the east coast. Get back on highway.
- Accidentally shuffle to a song that always makes me cry. Cry a lot. I’m alone, so I ugly cry. I do not know why I’m crying. It doesn’t matter.
- Drive through a town with the same name as the town in Washington where my mom grew up. Call my mom. She doesn’t answer. Resume crying.
- Turn on the audiobook again because I’ve wasted quality listening time and I paid money for this audiobook.
- Stop at Walgreen’s because I forgot deodorant.
- Arrive. There are still 45 minutes left on the audiobook.