On my three-year anniversary.

Last month, the WordPress dudes kindly sent me a brief notification thanking me for blogging with them for three years. I guess I missed the exact date – February 28, 2010 – but heck, the sentiment is still there. WordPress and I have been tight for a while, and it’s always a fun time – even though they’ve changed their layout about a thousand times.

But 61 posts and 48 (usually nice) comments later, and I still don’t have it all together.

This evening, I spent some time going back through the archive of old posts on my blog. I have documented the passing of years, aha moments, determined resolutions, and utter failures. I have written about the whole scope of my life, from graduations to rejections to arguments. I have tried to write each time the Lord teaches me something new or humbles me, and the lesson solidifies itself in my heart. Each of these posts is a landmark of the journey I have taken since the middle of my senior year of high school.

One of the most common themes I have tried to convey with a genuine approach is that I don’t have it all together, but Jesus does. Several wonderful people who have read my blog (Joy and Emily, for instance) and have come to me with feedback have commented on how much they appreciate my honesty. This is a good sign. If I can’t be honest just writing about myself, what can I be honest about? I have been honest with my readers (whoever they you may be) since the beginning of my battle and recovery with pornography, through feeling like an insufficient youth leader because I act like I’m better than I am, and through several different realizations of issues that need to change in my life. What I’ve learned is that if I have a problem, someone else probably does too, so why not talk about it together and find a solution? (Hint: The solution is usually found somewhere in the ocean of God’s grace.)

My blog isn’t the best thing you’ll read all day, and you might not even want to recommend it to a friend. But if something I say resonates with you because I’m more honest than I should be, then I have accomplished a goal. And if not… shoot, at least I got a thought off my chest.

These past few years have been a roller coaster. If I could diagram them, you would get motion sickness. But hopefully, we’ve learned something together, and maybe we can keep doing that as the years roll by.

If you’re reading this, please know that I think you are wonderful and I am thankful for you.

Much love,

Carissa

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