I am sitting down to write this post for the third time. I have written about fifteen introductory sentences and deleted every single one of them.
I’m trying to recap 2012.
But more importantly, I’m trying to use 2012 to show me how to live in 2013.
Looking back on 2012 may never be a fond thing to do. Granted, the year was filled with important moments in my life, many firsts, and a wealth of friendship and good times. But as I reflect on who I was during this year, I remember that there were clouds that cast shadows of doubt and that suppressed my ability to live well this year. Though I have historically responded to change extremely well, the many changes in my life thus far have been comfortable – moving in with a beloved family friend, moving to a different state to live with my family, etc.
Moving to a new state, where I knew a limited number of people, where I was not fully understood, and where I had no close friendships, to settle into a challenging environment that demanded much of me yet viewed me as another number?
That’s a whole new ballpark of change.
But I will spare you the details. They’re unnecessary.
What’s necessary is a game plan. I want 2013 to be different from last year.
I’m tired of wasting time. I’m done with missing opportunities. I’m ready to throw off the burdens and chains that have slowed me down.
I do not want to find my acceptance and worth in anyone but Christ Jesus. When people fail me – which they always do – I want to be left with Someone in whom to find hope. When Satan comes to me, reminding me of the woman I used to be, I want to look the other way at the woman who God is preparing me to be.
Further, I want to allow God to use me in mighty ways. Unexpected ways – unlimited by what man thinks can be done.
He has filled a gaping hole in my heart. Now, my obligation is to allow the love that He has used to heal me to overflow into the lives of others as he gives me opportunities to be used in the healing of the hearts of others.
That’s what I’ll be doing this year. May it be fuller, richer, and more overflowing than the last.